It is time – #5iveGreatestHitsTour

The UK leg.. The actual 5ive tour begins in Ryhl, Wales tomorrow night.

Rock it boys!!!!! Super safe travels and have a funky 5ive time to anyone attending the shows. I hope to see a lot ofrevampedbanner you and would love you to sign the #5iver side of my main banner.


I will attempt to blog almost like a review of each show I have been lucky to get tickets for. I know i have put too much into this and after conversations where i am panicing so much i almost pulled the plug.. Its so close now i have to do it no matter what. Obviously i know i could do the first date and have to come home again, i have planned for every outcome and dropped a few days. So, here is my not that sensible but the most i could do without breaking my heart and feeling like my body has won #missionfailed:

20th – Blackpool
25th Southend – no longer attending due to hospital, sorry Tara.

2nd – hospital
4th – HAMMERSMITH, LONDON (Abz cosplay)
5th – OXFORD

I can’t wait to be surrounded by smiles. Lets rock!!!!!!!



Ringing Hospital…

A stern talk from my friend, Shaun saying  “the longer you leave it, the scarier it gets” and actually Abz saying “you gotta take care of yourself” is still ringing in my ears ….

I made the phone call.

2 days later, turns out I had an old number. Some solution orientation later  I got the new number and was straight through to my surgeons receptionist. Who yup, knew who I was and was as caring and efficient as ever.

So, sooner than I think things will be a go go.

Screw it… BRING IT ON!


This week I have been mainly…

..sleeping. wearing Rainbow #UnicornHat . watching a clip of Celebrity Big Brother. tweeting about what I saw. sleeping. watching a clip. sleeping. watching the main show. watching clips. tweeting. watching Bit of the Side. Trying to watch the LiveStream… sleeping………..


Can’t wait for him to get out and see all the support he’s been getting. We love the Abz!

Scott was ace face and sooo funny on the Sunday show. Nice one! “Who wants the caaake..” *falls over* Poor Lauren though, bless her, she’s doing well in there. I think she might benefit the most from being around people.

As the days go on I am actually sure Abz has turned into me. He’s ‘quoted’ me twice, wearing MY hat, saving the creatures, watering the plants my way, face painting – what’s next? The guy might as well cosplay me 😉

WE CAME FOR YOU ABZ – Celebrity Big Brother

We all sussed it ages ago and so we decided to risk it for a biscuit and attempt to go get tickets to Celeb Big Brother Entrance night…..

 Abz will WIN!!! #TeamAbz!

Thank you to my man for supporting me. I love you.

Myself, Sian and Laura went through 60 hours of emotional rollercoaster. From the wait to see if we got tickets, to the aghhh the travel is a nightmare, to we HAVE to do this….. We found a way! We got there! The three of us, together again. We got there. We were fucking there!

After 3 hours travelling a million percent out of my comfort zone, determined and on a mission, I had panic attack at Paddington, a crazy tube journey with some nice old ladies trying to help me, almost missed my connection because they didn’t put up a platform until the last-minute and I couldn’t run because my stomach was pulsating……. I arrived in Sian Land.

Food. Giggles. Tunes. Polish. Check in.

Not that I saw much of it but I was staying in the Newark Hotel and the chap on reception was nice even if he did assume I was going to come in drunk after midnight. He couldn’t have been further from the truth. The bathroom was bigger than the bedroom – I liked it, it was sweet, just enough room. Why so many fire doors? I got lost in there.

Laura arrived after her 3 hour driving and it was mission a go go. Sian was an amazing Chauffeur. Thank you for getting us there safely. On the road, having a sing song and converting Sian’s mate. We soon arrived at the Elstree film and TV studios.

We made it, we were in the queue…  Skipped over to get some food from the McDonalds. DO YOU WANT YOUR TOY? SMURF!  We were given a ticket with a number on in the queue. I was 205. About 7pm they told us anyone over 220 wouldn’t be getting in. So, we thought they were saying we all would. Everyone thought it. Turned out, 10 minutes later that more priority and VIPs turned up than there was total space. Which meant………. Us lucky lot……………….. got sent home.

Why exactly did they send us tickets if they knew there was more priority than there was space? We didn’t know priority exsisted??? Why didn’t they tell us we were on stand by from the start? Why did they make out like we were in?  I don’t understand.

The dude in front of us tried to ask his sources to get us in – that was overly nice of him. No luck. Some #5ivers were being ace face with their advice over twitter. Thank you #5ivers.

I have to be honest. I cried.

I couldn’t believe it. Beyond gutted and ready to collapse. I can’t tell you how much effort we put in to getting there and then BAM! We weren’t going to get in, any way. Would have loved to see his little face. The 3 of us had our Abz caps and banners.

I hope he was given an amazing send in!!!!!

We ran around to the front as Vicky tweeted she was on route. Thank you to her, I shouted her. She waved and blow US a kiss. She didn’t have to do that. We really appreciated it.

We tried getting into… what’s it called?; ‘Bit on the side’ show, but they weren’t having any of it. Oh Rylan did shout over the brushes when we were in the queue. The people waiting to go into that randomly starting singing ‘Keep on Movin’ so I started singing with them and shouted #TeamAbz baby!!

I can’t believe it. We tried absolutely everything in our powers. Except jumping fences or digging holes..

We were heartbroken to be quite honest. I then bawled my eyes out to Laura. Which was not cool and I am sorry. Because of rather pants emotions that I can’t go into, tiredness, guttedness, illness and shock, I couldn’t contemplate staying in hotel and the journey home. I sent a SOS to my sister, who drove 4 hours to pick me up. She IS amazing and I will never thank her enough for being there for me – ALWAYS! I checked out the hotel, the lady did ask her boss if I could get the money back but it’s in the Terms and Cons I couldn’t. I am so sorry to Sian and Laura for bailing, I couldn’t handle it. Those ladies put so much into the day and getting there. I can’t believe it. Well, I can believe it, but I can’t believe the way it was run. No logic at all. He better be smiling in there. He has to be smiling. Then we be happy.

Spent the night (well a few hours sleep) at my brothers then a family member drove me back to Oxford this morning. Took an hour or so. My family are crazy. I Love them so much.

Thank you to Sian and Laura. We were in it together and I flippin’ loved seeing you so soon. We tried, we really, really tried. Love you millions. Thank you for being in my life ladies. Truely, Thank you.

WE LOVE YOU ABZ! We did it for you man. Stay safe in there. I’m sorry, I hope we didn’t let you down… #TeamAbz

*exhaustion and tears*

Now I’m off to shave my hair in protest……………………




EDIT; Saturday 24th August – just got the ‘priority tickets’ that we got told we’d get as compensation. It’s for one of the evictions.  On them it says you have to be there 45 – 60 minutes before the show. There were people turning up with ‘priority’ less than half hour before….. Yeah… Ok.  I did bring myself to watch in the end and I’m super happy he saw Vicky before he went in. Thank goodness.




Round 534

and this fight is on! Might get messy, but… It’s on!!!

Been iffy since the whole heat exhaustion…. which now I don’t believe was that. As for being punched in the stomach yeah that couldn’t have helped. So, yesterday – hospital for Infliximab. Which I have to say I got through because I was liBlog_robinstening to Vicky’s cover of ‘Read all about it’ for the whole hours. Ohh I was only sat in the MALE bay 😉 haha. I had to check I wasn’t in crossplay. Sadly after several tries the cannula was in my right hand, luckily it’s not bruised (first time EVER) so shouldn’t interfere with cosplay tattoos at the weekend. Inflix was the usual… and had a philosophical conversation with one of the cleaners. Then on the bus on the way home, very nice humans were trying to help me, with something that wasn’t really a problem. Too kind. Glad to have felt the nicer side of humanity right there. A nice sit and meditation in the Japanese garden before the bus home. I took lots of photos of the robin that’s been there the last 4 times. He sat with me for 20 minutes, jumping around me, up the tree, back down to sit with me. Did have some weird women laughing at me. Yeah thanks for that one, I’m just trying to gather my thoughts of what’s about to happen and you laugh at me – brilliant!

ABZ_NEWOUTFITLots of symptoms going on at the moment. Weight dropping like a lead balloon, food is coming out faster than I can eat it, hair falling out more than normal, energy rollercoaster….. But not missing the weekend for anything so body you just got to get on with it for 5ive more sleeps! (well 6 would be great)

I do have a lot of little projects to type about. My Mini-Alien-Sparks have been keeping me busy as it’s summer. I will try and post before the weekend or maybe I will do a ‘Summer recap’ in the next few weeks. Concentrations not great.

Anyways, My new Abz outfit all arrived. See photo. Today I packed – Sooooo, I’m off on a weekend adventure which will include; Noughies PopFest in York with my #5ivers who are currently my heroes. There’s people coming from everywhere, even Europe #hardcore5ivers. I can’t wait to see them smiling and seeing the lads ‘5ive’ on stage again. WOW! They have a busy weekend. 3 shows in 2 days. Thank you for doing it lads. We really appreciate it. I hope the other 2 shows go amazingly well. I hope we can cheer louder than ever once you get to us and give you positive vibes. You are going to ‘Rock the Party’ – Bring it on!!!!


Abz: “She’s even got my hat!” – Big Summer Session

NOTE: I hold S, L.C, Z, L, L, L, my brother, his daughter, #5ivers and EJB on the run up to the show, mummy Abz AND Vicky for what happened. You all gave me a kick up the bum to wear my Abz cosplay, and were there by my side when this happened. Thank you all – seriously xx

You may have a body and/or mind that trys to stop you doing things you want to do in life, but there is always a way. Keep on Movin’, Keep Smiling and Keep fighting xx


the Big Summer Session, Swindon; WHAT HAPPENED?

  • I am totally mind blown, overwhelmed and I am struggling to process such a “beautiful’ moment, and everyone’s nice comments and likes and…

Lots of people asking about yesterday. I won’t bore you with the ‘on my feet in pain for 12 hours, the whole power cut random annoying-ness or the everyone was drench in  7 hours of heavy rain and that the lads did get on stage but for a shorter set and the people looking very ill, and the fact I’m now really not feeling good at all.’…….. I know if you are actually reading this it’s because you have seen photos appear on Twitter or Facebook. OR you are my nosey sister 😉

A few people ninja photographed me.  It was funny.

I have to be honest, I have told the story a million times over to my family and even more times to my man. I blubber every time, get hyper every time and every time I think – did that actually happen? I was thinking maybe I wanted to keep it between myself and the #5ivers who helped me #makethishappen, and everyone stood there. However, quite a few friends and general people have asked, I figured if I write it down once I can copy/paste or send this link.

Of coarse, I don’t remember every little thing, but I will try my best. I’m not totally sure what people want to know? Do you want to know that Abz smelt SO good, or that Vicky’s doggy did not speak the way Abz said!? No, I don’t believe you wanted to know that.

I am just going to start typing and see what happens.

After 5ive were on… We went to the back. Simples. Though did lose some peoples and temporarily loose some.
There was a hand full of people stood at the fences. I joined them with the other 5ivers. Talked for a few seconds and there he was……………… ABZ..
Oops, I fangirl squealed when I saw Vicky – what was that about? 😉
Anyway, S shouted “Abz, Vicky, we have the Abz cosplayer here”

I swore under my breath thinking ‘ok, this is the moment of truth, will he approve.. he can’t see me like this. this aint good. this aint good………  I don’t know how he got to me in the row or how he saw me or..  He just appeared in front of me all Abz like and ..
I would have been ok, until he opened his mouth. Awwh man! I can’t even! Seriously – too much emotion. Too kind. Too nice. Too Abz!!! adorable.

Abz; “Ah man, that’s so cool” (And yes, everyone has to when reading this )
“It’s like looking in the mirror” I turned my head  away, teary, shy, all ‘ah man, this isn’t right’. I could not take the niceness. There was a few ‘aww’s coming from 5ivers. His little adorable smiley face he does.
“Biggest compliment”
“She’s even got my hat….. and my tattoos… everything”
Putting his hand through the fence, or did I put mine through shaking my hand, or touching his arm or something or I don’t even know.
Seriously I just.. yeah. I couldn’t take it in.
Then Vicky coming over smiling at me and that was even worse, I crumbled.
Abz asked Vicky if she’d seen me and  “even got my hat”, and She said yes and that it was great.
Abz said something and Vicky asked if she could shake MY hand! Whatttttt! How does that work?

I was taken back by him being taken back. Vicky then asked if I’d had photo with him. No idea what Abz was doing at that point and it’s a blur about what they were saying to each other but I said Nope. She said did I want one. I said if that’s ok with him. I don’t know if Abz said he wanted one. She said yes and her and the guard said to come round.  I did, and my gosh that was the LONGEST walk of my life. I was freaking, totally freaking.  Did I imagen you guys who were stood there cheering? (maybe it was the fanfare in my head haha)
The guard on this end of the fences asked what I was doing and the other guard shouted “She’s coming through”

Abz was nattering to the lovely peoples/5ivers, turned around. Vicky took the photos.
Abz; something about it being cool and then said  “you ok?”
Me; *nod*
Abz; “What pose we gonna do?”
Me; “erm”
Both do the point thing at same time.
Abz; “Lets do another one”
We posed several times and he then said “Let’s do a shocked face” Now that face was classic! We missed it on camera.
We did arms folded, then he said “Another one” and posed,
then said “Another!” I don’t think Vicky could keep up with taking the photos as he was moving about so much hehe.
The cosplayer in me went straight out the window and probably only half of the ‘black belt’ in me was left by the end of this.

He then kept saying “Thank you” and “it’s the Biggest Compliment” and just smiling at me and staring at me and “You even have the hat!” I think we bro fisted, you know what, I can see me looking at his arm and thinking ‘what’s he doing’ and then something and then him smelling so nice (sorry but he did) as he hugged me – very brief. I think that happened? That happened right? All I could say was “erm, erm erm erm yeah” “Thank you” “This is weird man” “Sorry” “Thank you” “Sorry this is just..” “Too nice man too nice” I guess I did go into Abz cosplay mode.. No idea! I know Ruth was out of the building.
They both kept looking at me and smiling. Their eyes. My gosh, their eyes said it all.

He was all too cool for school and just like “Yeah she even got my hat!”
The last thing he said I can’t remember but I really wanted to remember it because it was one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard and now my brain has totally exploded and I will probably never remember.


Then he trotted off (I think a very happy bunny), and Vicky gave me my camera.
I said “May I get a photo with you, or is that cheeky?”
Vicky; “Yes of course you can”
The guard who was totally ace face and I wanted to give him a gold star. He didn’t take the photo very well, we both said to him “You need to push it right down”, the button that is. He did.
I said “Thank you, Vicky”
She said “no, thank you”
and had a hug, avoiding squishing our dog 😉 (haha)
I said “Seriously thank you so much, that was amazing”
She said “It’s alright sweetheart”

I was all confused , I could have stood there but didn’t know so I went back round the fences.
There was now 3 lady guards on the gate and they all asked me “I bet you liked that” “That must have made your day”
Me; “totally, amazing. I can’t think.. Yes, I haven’t seen him for so long, that was incredible. that.. that.. *trying to breathe* that’s my life done!”
They smiled and said super nice things.

T and Z had arrived, I didn’t see them catch up I don’t think. Maybe I did. I have no idea. Bare in mind is really wasn’t far at all to walk around but it felt like forever. I got to the others and Abz and Vicky were just saying bye. Everyone was shouting bye etc.
I shouted “Bye and thank you”

I then rang my man, though I didn’t know what I was saying and I starting hugging the 5ivers and no idea what I said but thank yous were in their somewhere. 🙂 #5ivers amaze me!

Vicky and Abz drove past in the car, they were still smiling and lovin’ it. ❤
Thank you Abz, and Vicky and all 5ivers and my brother and OH MY! Seriously… just… even as a cosplayer to get comments from the character/person you are cosplaying is out of this world, let alone your idol, the dude who’s voice has been there – in your ears for 16 years –  through all the pain taking you to another world to help you cope. As a kid dreaming you were that dude in the band helping you escape. Some people will know what this meant to me.

Truely, thank you Mr Love. There’s nothing I can say to come close to what I’m feeling. THANK YOU THANK YOU and THANK YOU some more.

All the fighting has been worth it. My life is now complete.

But, wait Abz #2 it doesn’t stop there. Oh no, more mind-boggling, overly niceness came a few minutes later…

  • Out comes Scott

He went down the row staring on the people to the left of me, got to me and ….

He looked, paused, smiled,
Scott; “Hey, Abz!”
Me; “Hey”
Scott said something about looking good
I said something about Abz fangirling (though I’m hoping I only thought it and didn’t say it out loud)
Scott; Stares at me for (felt like) ages
Scott “So can I get a high5ive then?”

Couple of other natterings ’20th on my high 5iving mission and getting the rest of the band as cosplayers’ … More natterings with the other peoples. He does look good in his glasses. Then he went off to his car.

As him, Kerry and the boys drove past in car. They stopped infront of us.

Scott; “see you later Abz” *waves*
Me; “see ya” *salutes*
Scott; *looks at me for a second*  “Kerry, you seen this?”
Kerry looked and then  was saying something to boys in the back of car. No idea what it was. Scott kept looking and then drove off.

  • Ritchie just looked and me and then carried on talking to others and then Chris beeped so he had to move. Everyone has to tell Ritchie they got “soaking wet for him”.. he loved it 😉 ha
  • Sean.. was… well… Sean.

This is where I say. Sorry if this made no sense.

I am currently trying to look through 200 and then another 100 notifications on Facebook. What’s going on peoples? Since when did I deserve all this niceness? You are all amazing for your comments, support and appreciation. I just can’t process it all. TOO MUCH NICE! My mind is totally blown. Thank you for all the support – you are all crazy pants  and I love you for it 🙂 xx


3 5iver Memory Countdown – Keep On Movin’

3 Weeks until
[5ive at Swindon, Big Summer Sessions]

I started the day needing lots of deep breaths and the song ‘Keep on Moving”.. more like ‘Scream”. I then made a much-needed large batch of cheese on toast for the horde. I stealthy got into my sisters car at some point today. I inserted 5ive by Five cd into the player. She automatically started singing. We were half way through SLAM before she realised what I’d done. There we were singing our heads off to every lyric, music louder than it should have been and obviously we were dancing too. We got some strange looks from walkers when stopped at traffic lights. We were too cool. Especially in my Raybans. It was just like going back to when I was 12… and 25… ok, so things have never changed. Not really.

My mini-5iver now knows she is coming to see Five. It’s exciting. We sang our Happy Birthday Abz, video song to celebrate. Ohhhhh, my 5iver sister; Barbie tweeted our video. Mummy Abz only went and Retweeted it and all sorted. It’s REALLY appreciated.

This heat isn’t making it easy for my body. I’m determined to get to Swindon. And, well, I keep adding things to my adventure.

‘Keep on Movin” right???? Keep Smiling and Keep Fighting. That songs been a major part of my hospital life and life in general. It’s such an uplifting song for a lot of people. Love it!

  • I could write about all the moments the song has been my rock/guide. However, I think it would get too personal.. So, I have picked one of these moments that was very powerful to me. I think I would like to share it;2003 – MRI scanner, terrified, in and out of conciousness, my body grey and unable to move or even cry I was that far gone…. They’d put headphones on me to drown out the noises, and picked some music they thought I would like. I remember a few notes of Boyzone (really? that’s what they picked?) Apparently I blacked out again for a few minutes as it started. Then the next thing I remember I’d come too just as ‘Keep on Movin” started. … I laid there singing every word in my head, wishing I could scream, cry and tried to imagen being on stage with the lads dancing and singing away. No crowd though, just us dancing.. on my own private stage. The crowds would have made me nervous. I knew I had to fight! After those few minutes I was in and out of conciousness again.

On a  lighter note…I’ve just sent in my video clip for the Massive 5iver video project that the 5iverQueen (as I think we should call her) is putting together for us. She’s amazing. It just so happens that I used my Abz cosplay – Keep on Movin’ Subliminal message clip, plus a clip saying Thank you to the lads. The legend of Five has helped me through some rather dark times and have given me so many very happy times, my brain cannot register that even more times are coming.

Have you sent in your video??